Feature Article

The Reality of The Healer
by Jill Riley

About the author:
Jill Riley is a tremendously gifted singer ­ songwriter. Her non-profit organization R.E.A.L. Ministries (the acronym stands for Real Evidence of Abiding Love) can be found at www.jillriley.com

Steve asked if I'd write an article for the website of his incredible outreach. I think I'll just write from my heart about my own personal experience with healing and music.

In January of 1999, I was diagnosed with cancer. I was alone in my bed the night I was diagnosed when an extreme fear hit me in an instant. It seemed to come from nowhere, and I have described it time and time again as being like a flock of black vultures that swarmed and began to devour me alive before I could even think twice. Then, something indescribable happened.

I was just interrupted from writing this a minute ago by a phone call from a friend. There is a little boy in Nashville by the name of Adam Weldon who we've prayed for over the past three years. Adam suddenly began having seizures shortly after his fifth birthday, almost three years ago to the day. At that time, the doctors placed him into a drug-induced coma to halt the seizures that, even three years later, have no determined origin. He was eventually released to live at home, as his doctors did not know what else to do for him. Even though Adam is completely dependent on his awesome family, he's been doing well.

Adam stopped breathing today and they have rushed him to the hospital. At this moment, Adam is fighting for his life. Things do not look good. As a matter of fact things look hopeless, but I am somehow standing in faith. I have played and sang for Adam in the past in prayer for his complete restoration and healing. The friend, who called me from Nashville, said that in her prayers over him at the hospital she felt moved to call and ask if I would play even here from Arlington, Texas in prayer for Adam. We have learned that prayer truly knows no distance. The spirit knows no boundaries. I stopped writing, picked up my guitar and began to play and pray and cry and praise and plead and find peace.

I asked, "What is my place in this circumstance? Guide me and use me Lord in any way you choose."

It occurred to me that maybe the greatest sacrifice of praise I could offer up is to come back to the writing of this story.

I'll be honest. Before I got that call I was tapping my finger on the keyboard thinking to myself, "Hmmm. Here I go again. Do I tell this story or not?" I still struggle with the various reactions some people have. Some people smile and even hug me while I can see and feel that they silently have pity on me. They seem to view this story as coming from someone, who found herself in a moment of emotional desperation, which caused her to psychologically conjure a divine experience. But I know that I know that I know that my moment was as real as anything I have ever experienced in my life. I pray that every reader's heart would be opened to Him, Jehovah Rophe, the Lord who heals.

This fear was a level of darkness that I thought was going to literally kill me on the spot! I had no idea what to do and as silly as it may sound the first thought that popped into my head was this. "If I take a pain killer, it will knock me out!" This was my only way to end this desperate fear. I grabbed the bottle of pain killers from the night stand and took one. I quickly turned the lamp off and was ready to lie down and pray that I would fall right to sleep. As I turned back to lie down, I was arrested by what I saw. Almost paralyzed, from the corner of my eye I could see a luminescent man in a white robe sitting right beside me in my bed. He was so manifest that I could see that He was either bare foot or had sandals on. He sat calmly with his knees bent up toward His chest and had His arms gently draped across them. I could not bring myself to look toward His face because I was afraid that if I did, He would flee. I had become engulfed by His presence, and I cannot begin to describe the level of peace and comfort and safety that this was bringing me. I had never known what a severe lack of peace I had suffered, how exceedingly uncomfortable I was and how dangerously unsafe I had been until I experienced these gifts from under this shroud of mercy and grace! I was afraid that this flowing power would be too intense for my mortal self if I saw Him eye to eye, and therefore, He would ebb for my sake if I turned to get a glimpse. So, I sat silently frozen, soaking, surrounded by this unfathomable glory. It was a long time before I ever told anyone about this for two reasons. One, there are no words in the English language that don't offensively cheapen and disgrace this astounding encounter. Two, I was never going to give opportunity to an argument or even discussion about who this was. There was not a millisecond that I questioned who this was. This WAS Jesus and I knew it as much as I know my own mother when she walks into a room. There was not a moment that I thought "Is this an angel?" Or "Is this my imagination?" It just WAS! He just WAS. I AM that I AM! No further words needed!

I don't know that I will ever recollect just how this moment dissipated, but it did. As feeble as this may sound, for some reason, somewhat absent minded, I picked up my guitar and began to play a little melody I had never played before. For days I repeated that little melody and it eventually dawned on me that it was some sort of God given musical prayer. The playing itself seemed to ask on my behalf for more of this peace and comfort and safety. As more melody would come to my spirit and through my hands, that peace and comfort and safety would return. The Word of God tells the story of Saul being tormented by an evil spirit.

1 Samuel 16: 14-19

Now the spirit of God departed from Saul, and tormenting him was an evil spirit of God. Saul's servants said to him: let a man be sought, one who knows how to play the lyre with skill, that it may be, whenever there is upon you this evil spirit of God, that he may play the lyre with his hand, so that it is well with you. Saul said to his servants: Pray select for me a man who plays well, and have him come to me! Then spoke up one of the serving-lads and said: Here, I have seen one who knows how to play; a mighty-man of valor, a man of war, skilled in words, and God is with him. So Saul sent messengers to Yishai, to say: send me David your son. And David came to Saul, and so it was: whenever there was an evil spirit of God upon Saul, David would take up the lyre and play it with his hand, and Saul would have relief, and it would be well with him; the evil spirit would depart from him.

I don't pretend to fully understand the mechanics or even implications of this story and will not venture here to make any comment on Biblical theology. All I know is my story and that I believe that music holds an awesome power that, with the touch of God, can somehow bring about healing.

I feel I should cut my story short and get back to Adam's story because so much has happened since I began writing this.

To wrap my story up: After two surgeries, and a period of monitoring with CT scans and sonograms, we discovered an orange size mass that the doctors were urgent about removing. Something urged me to walk away from the proposed surgery and have faith. I did not have that kind of faith! I became completely convinced that it was the voice of God urging me to do this and He would not let me go. He continued to give me the courage to walk in that kind of faith. After four months of walking out every detail that the Holy Spirit ministered to my spirit, new sonograms and CT scans proved that the orange size mass was gone and I have now been clear for almost five years! I will never be the same!

Now I must return to Adam's story. It is now Thursday evening, almost one week from the day I started writing this. I decided to fly to Nashville that Saturday morning, the day after the phone call. As I played my guitar here and continued to pray for Adam Friday night, my very good friends were there at the hospital.

I will share the details of this to the very best of my knowledge. Adam had aspirated which sent him into cardiac arrest and he had no pulse for over 45 minutes Friday evening. He had stopped breathing, had no heart rate, had a ninety-three degree temperature and his eyes were fixed, as eyes do in death. The doctors urged the friends to prepare the family to take him off of life support and accept that he was gone. The doctors insisted that his heart would never beat on its own again. The family and friends refused to quit praying and remained gathered around the bed. Everyone was truly willing to accept God's sovereign will should God choose to take him, but faith would not rescind, and the power of prayer prevailed. At 11:00 p.m. ADAM CAME BACK! His eyes were suddenly responsive again. His temperature came back up to ninety- eight degrees. At 1:30 a.m. the doctors took Adam off of the pace maker, not knowing what would happen. His heart took over, immediately stabilized and remained stable. By noon the next day the doctors took him off the ventilator and his breathing remained normal, leaving him completely free of life support.

You cannot possibly fully grasp a thing like this in the moment. There is a work of faith that has to continue to be done in the following critical hours. This, coupled with sleep deprivation, makes you feel you've been put on another plane somewhere and you find yourself having to replay it again and again saying, "My God! This really just happened!" The doctors continued to come in to report the next potential crisis. His brain will swell. His kidneys will fail etc., etc. We continued to march it out in this unyielding faith. Saturday the kidney test showed no failure. The next day the CT scan showed no brain swelling. The next day the heart tests showed no irregularities and so on and so on! Today the doctors said Adam can go home tomorrow. Anna, his mother, said, "And to think I would have already buried him."

~~~~~~~~~~~

I took my guitar to the hospital and offered my ever so minuscule contribution to this enormous raging battle. I played for periods of time over Adam in an inner storm of praise and thanksgiving to Jehovah Rophe, the Lord that heals! I played in awe of a God who would allow me, Jill, to witness such outrageous Glory. I played to do my part, despite my limited understanding of spiritual warfare and evil tormenting spirits. I played in a reverence for the Word of God, which tells me the story of King Jehosphat, appointing singers to sing to the Lord and praise Him as they went out before the army saying, "Give thanks to the Lord, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!" And when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against their enemies and they defeated their enemies. I played in continued prayer for the complete restoration of this precious, powerful, earthbound and destined little boy that, through the spirit alone, I have come to love deeply!

What can I, just one girl,
do for you in light of all you 're going through?
I know I can't fix your life.
I can't make it all right
and all I know to do
is just love you.
Yes, I can love you.
So, I'm going to love you through.

 

I can see the trouble that surrounds you
and I believe there's only one way out
I know God is right here for you
So, I'll just stand by your side
And let you reach out
And I'll just love you.
Because I can love you.
Yes, I'm going to love you through.
And that is all that just one girl can do for you.

©Jill Riley 2002