When I was a kid my mom had an Andy Williams Christmas album that she loved. This was back when we had turntables that would repeat. The needle arm would get to the end of the record and then just lift up and automatically go back to the front and start playing that side of the album all over again.

That’s what my mom did with the Andy Williams record. She would let the same side play over and over and over again. There were a few years there where I thought I never wanted to hear the record again. But when I got my own place and Christmas rolled around I found myself at the record store looking through the bin for my own copy of .the Andy Williams Christmas album.

Part of it was tradition. And part of it was that it was a very good album.

It had a mix of hymns and some popular seasonal favorites. But it was his pure voice and the wonderful arrangements that made the album so strong. Even as a younger person who liked music by people like the Beatles and Stevie Wonder I found myself drawn at Christmas time to “older” sounding music; classic vocalists and arrangements by singers like Tony Bennett, Nat King Cole, Mel Torme, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis…and Andy Williams.

For most, Christmas is a favorite holiday but there are some years when, for whatever reason, we just don’t feel much like celebrating. Maybe we’ve lost a job or someone dear to us has passed away. Maybe it’s the first Christmas one of our children or a sibling just can’t make it home for the holidays. If you or someone you love isn’t looking forward to Christmas this year for whatever reason then “It Doesn’t Feel Like Christmas This Year” is for you.

Musically the approach we’ve taken is simply this. What if Andy – or Bing or Mel or Nat – could share a song like that with us. What would it sound like? Could it maybe sound like the old songs we are used to hearing at Christmas – and so in that way feel comforting – but also be comforting in that it allows us to feel blue without feeling like we’re wrong for feeling that way.

I believe in a God of compassion. I believe God cares deeply when our hearts are breaking or when we’re just plain down about something. I hope this song gives you the permission to feel whatever you’re feeling this holiday season. And if you’re feeling great then I hope it just helps us all to remember to “weep with those who weep” this Christmas.

Steve Siler

Words & Music by Steve Siler
© Silerland Music 2008

The houses and shops are all greening
There’s baking and wrapping to do
Outside they’re caroling white Christmas
But in my heart it’s blue
December’s the time for snowfall
But all that’s falling is my tears
I wish this holiday would just go away
Cause it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year

Candles and Yule lights are twinkling
Everyone’s merry and bright
But me, I’ve got a different reason
To have a silent night
People are full of the spirit
I can’t seem to get there from here
Wish I could just pretend
That it’s spring again
Cause it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year

The calendar says to be of good cheer
To be joyful, to laugh, and sing
But in the midst of celebration
What do I do with all of this pain?

December’s the time for snowfall
But all that’s falling is my tears
I wish this holiday would just go away
Cause it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year
Wish I could just pretend
That it’s spring again
Cause it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year

So, so very beautiful. Captivating. A beautiful balance of the right things spoken and not spoken to draw out the story in each of us.

Shelly....Michigan

You’ve done a great job capturing and relating to the emotions of a person who is struggling during the Christmas season.

Ray...Illinois

The holidays are such a difficult season for the brokenhearted. Putting words to that difficulty gives us a step toward healing. Thanks so much.

Linda...Tennessee

I just listened to "It Doesn't Feel like Christmas This Year" and I LOVE it! It brings me back to the days when people like Mel Torme and Nat King Cole were writing and singing what are now classic Christmas songs.

Bonnie...Virginia